Connected
by Dacrunay
Summary: Beverly's new staff member is a female Trill, whom she finds herself attracted to. Begins prior to Insurrection and carries into Nemesis. Please review. Paramount owns everything of course. Rated M cause it's better to err on the side of caution.
1. Chapter 1

_**Authors Note: I was never happy with the amount of screen time Beverly Crusher  
>received in the movies. I felt she was kind of cast aside and felt that she needed some<br>one to appreciate her for the truly remarkable person she is. So I wrote a story let me know  
>if you like it. <strong>_

Chapter One

In the past Beverly had always approach new crew rotation with mixed feelings. People she had not only seen through various medical producers, but many of whom she had thought of as friends would leave for new assignments. That was the down side of course, on the upside was meeting the new crew members, some on their first assignments, others experienced officers and crew pleased to finally be serving on the flagship of the fleet.

The war had of course changed a lot concerning crew rotations, more reassignments, more new crew members, and more people spending their last minutes in sickbay, clinging to life hoping she would see them through.

Beverly forced that thought out of her head and glanced around her very busy sickbay. After transporting aboard, sickbay was the first stop for, not only to make sure the new members were healthy, but to make sure she had their most up to date records. Her shift was just about over, but she knew she would stay until her new staff member arrived, no matter how much she was dreading the occurrences.

As she studied the final medical scan for the new helmsman, she cursed herself for having such negative thoughts. Dr. Tenaya Enar's Starfleet record was amazing, graduated the academy with top honors, with dual degrees in medicine and bio mechanical engineering. Her published research was interesting, her skills as a surgeon especially battle flied surgery were making her legendary, and Beverly probably would have been overjoyed about having her on board if it weren't for the simple fact that Tenaya was a Trill.

It was totally un-characteristic of Beverly to be prejudicial about someone based on their planetary origin. After all she had once tried to help a Frenji scientist prove his phase shielding could withstand travel into a suns corona. Of course she wasn't sure she was even being prejudicial, she had no preconceived ideas about Trill's behavior, no negative assumptions about them she was just worried about how she would react to having a Trill on her medical staff.

The doors of the sickbay once more slide open, admitting a young woman with chestnut hair walked through. Since she had spent so much time studying Tenaya's Starfleet record Beverly recognized her immediately spots and all.

Tenaya approach the nearest free medical person, Nurse Ogawa, and spoke to her. Beverly didn't hear what her chief nurse replied, but she saw Tenaya look her way and the doctor felt a moment of recognition in the young Trill's eyes. Beverly wondered if the Tenaya had been studying her own record.

After Beverly finished with her patient she then waved Tenaya over, the Trill immediately offered Beverly a welcoming smile, as she introduced herself. Beverly nodded to her and tried not to stare at the spots, she found find the pattern appealing as were Tenaya's green eyes.

Switching to a purely business mode she asked the young women to lay down. "I have a copy of my latest, medical results from the Phoenix," She handed Beverly a data stick which she took and placed in her pocket.

"I still need to examine you."

"I know." Tenaya replied lying down on the table, silently Beverly began the exam. "I just wasn't sure if my records had been updated, I was recently…"

"Joined." Beverly remarked studying her scanner in disbelief, she then hotly added. "You might have mentioned it."

"I just did."

"I mean earlier." Beverly replied bringing over the portable bio-scanner for a closer look.

Tenaya wasn't sure what earlier meant, unless the doctor intended for her to introduce herself as Tenaya Enar a joined Trill, but she said nothing not wanting to upset her new boss anymore than she had already.

"Was there anything unusual about your joining?" Beverly asked in a softer tone.

"Everything, the previous host was named Darién Enar; he was operations officer aboard the Muscovy when he was critically wound the doctor sent at an emergency message hoping to find an un-joined Trill."

"And you answered."

"I didn't think I had a choice not to."

"Have you been back to Trill since the joining?"

"No, Dr. Palaus of the symbiont commission arrived soon after the joining, he stayed on board with me for several weeks, and he thought everything went very well. Does something seem odd to you?"

"Your symbiont looks different from one I previously saw." Beverly was trying to block all memories of Odan from her mind but it wasn't working real well.

"Spots or ridges?" Tenaya asked pointing to her forehead.

"Ridges." Beverly replied in a chocked voice; carefully study her reading and finding nothing wrong, she had half hoped she'd find a reason to claim Tenaya as being unfit.

"That's a recess trait on Trill."

"I know that." Was Beverly cold reply, "But I fail to see how a persons outward appearance affects their symbiont."

"Because Ugaun Trills, those with ridges, have a different type of symbiont."

Satisfied Beverly removed the portable scanner. "You may sit up." She then retrieved the data disk from her pocket and placed into a near by data padd. "So if the Trill with ridges are called Ugauns, what are the Trills with spots referred to as?"

"Non-Ugauns, if your speaking biologically or usually just Trills." Tenaya replied sheepishly. "I know that sounds awful, but Ugaun refers to area on Trill were many ridged Trill come from, and personally I always thought the ridges were dashing."

Beverly smiled slightly, Odan had defiantly been dashing, she took her time reading over the data Tenaya had provided everything seemed in order except for the medication. "I'm not familiar with Triosyptnao?"

"Neither was I it's a new anti rejection medication developed by the symbiont physicians, I had Dr. Palaus included the chemical breakdown so it can be replicated, but they gave me a six months supply. " Tenaya nodded to one of her bags.

"I'll want to store that here." Beverly replied, and then put her padd aside.

"No problem." Tenaya fished the container out of her bag and handed it to Beverly. "It's a relief that you've had some medical dealings with Trill, not many in Starfleet have."

"Yes, I suppose it is." Beverly said knowing that her response was sharper than Tenaya deserved, but still unable to stop herself. "You're free to go settle in and I want you to report at 0700 tomorrow."

Tenaya gave Beverly another warm smile which she did not return and was off.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The deck beneath Beverly shifted slightly, not enough to cause her to loose her balance, a fact she extremely grateful for since she was using a laser scalpel at that moment. Unlike the bridge, sickbay stayed pretty stable during battles do to their inward location, but if whatever was going on outside of the ship was starting to reach them she needed to get her patient stabilized fast.

"I could use a hand here?" Beverly called out to know one in particular, because all of her staff seemed to be just as busy as she was.

"I can be there in just a minute." Tenaya called out.

"Of course you can." Beverly muddle to herself, in the three weeks since Tenaya's arrival she had proven herself not only a capable surgeon, but a quick one as well. At first Beverly thought she was cutting corners and had insisted on running in-depth bio scan on a patient she felt certain Tenaya had rushed through, but the scan revealed a newly repaired liver functioning normally. After performing a reconstruction of a crew members spine together Beverly realized that she was just that good. Still Beverly couldn't warm up to the young Trill.

Tenaya finished with her patient and joined Beverly at the table, the chief medical officer quickly ran down the situation with Tenaya whose eyes were glued to the bioscan. "I'm going to finish up with the heart, and you need to stop him from bleeding out at the abdomen."

"Understood." Tenaya replied and got to work with the regenerator.

A few moments later the deck rumbled once more. "That is not good." Beverly commented as she closed up the chest cavity, and then looked over at Tenaya who had found the bleeders and was also closing up.

They breathed a quick sigh of relief that was cut short by the computer's voice announcing an intruder alert on their deck.

"Move all patients into inner sickbay." Beverly ordered. "Tenaya phasers."

Tenaya went to the side panel toward the door and punched in the code, she quickly tossed a phaser to Beverly and was about the grab one herself when the stick bay doors burst open and two Jem`Hadar rushed in. Tenaya quickly ducked as disrupter fire shot through sickbay, she then hurled herself at the closes solider and knocked his feet out from under him. With a fierceness she didn't know she possessed; she slammed her elbow into his throat, and in one quick motion fired his weapon at the other Jem Hadr who disappeared before her eyes. As the first Jem'Hadar began to recover she rolled free turned and fired his own weapon at him, and continued to fire at the third Jem`Hadar who were heading through the door.

"Tenaya come on." Beverly said laying down cover firer from the doorway to inner sick bay.

Swiftly Tenaya made it through just as the armored door was falling, and security had arrived.

Beverly looked at her still not believing what she had witness. "Trill marshal arts?"

"I'll go with that." Tenaya replied then looked door at the Jem'Hadar weapon in her hand. "I hadn't intended to…"

"You had no choice." Beverly reached out and took the weapon from her. "Let's check on our patients.

Once the battle was over sick bay became even busier, it wasn't until early the next day that Beverly had a moment to herself. Even then she picked up a padd which contained a preliminary report concerning the damages to sick bay. Most of it was insignificant, but some of the vials of Tenaya's anti-rejection medication had been damaged. She was about to page her when the young Trill stuck her head in to office to discuss releasing a patient. Once Beverly gave her approval, she told Tenaya about the vials.

"How many are left?"

"Two."

"We should be able to replicate the others that I need." Tenaya replied in a very matter of fact tone. Her optimistic outlook impressed Beverly.

"Is it normal for a Trill's to be on medication this long after the joining?"

"No, but it was the only way Dr. Palaus would let me return to duty without spending a month or more on Trill, I wasn't in the mood to be tested and prodded daily."

Beverly was about to make a joke about doctors making but she found herself suddenly lost in Tenaya's green eyes.

"Is there anything else?" Tenaya asked finding that her heart raced the more Beverly gazed at her.

"No, sorry I'm just a little tired. You may go." Beverly replied a little more abruptly then she intended.

Tenaya was about to offer to stay so Beverly could rest, but her boss's dismissive tone, and a sudden visual flash of Beverly in bed told her she needed to be elsewhere.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

For the moment the war was at a stand still, and as such a sense of normalcy was starting to creep back into the day to day activities aboard the Enterprise. Therefore, when Deanna asked to meet with her in Ten Forward for dessert, Beverly felt it was fine to say yes. It had been a while since Beverly had been in there, but she was certain the black baby grand piano in the corner was a new addition. When Guinan brought their desserts she felt compelled to ask about it.

"What made you get a piano?"

"I knew it would be put to good use." Guinan replied in her typical mystic manner and walked away.

"Well that answers that." Beverly remarked sarcastically.

"If someone plays it we'll know she was right." Deanna replied then gracefully scooped up the perfect spoonful of chocolate ice-cream, dark chocolate syrup, and white chocolate shavings. She closed her eyes and savored the bite.

Beverly slightly chuckled at the counselor as her spoon descended upon the butter-pecan and caramel syrup sundae before her.

After enjoying their desserts for a few moments Deanna asked. "How are you getting along with your new assistant?"

Beverly shot her an uneven look. "Fine."

"I ask because I know how apprehensive you were about working with a Trill." The counselor stated then took another chocolaty bite.

"And I shouldn't have been she's a wonderful addition to the staff."

The counselor shot her a curious look. "Wonderful? On her evaluation you rated her work as satisfactory."

Beverly cringed slightly and was silent for a moment. "Satisfactory is still a positive review."

"Yes, but it doesn't go along with you calling her wonderful, or all the praise that I've heard from crew members that have been treated by her?"

"Of course they sing her praises she's helped a lot of people, but in the end I'm the one doing the review, as I noted there are areas that need improvement."

"As I recall it was communication, but your explanation was vague."

Irritated Beverly down her spoon, "When she assists me with a procedures, she barely talks, and just as I'm about to tell her to do something, she's already doing it."

"That sound's like she's simply anticipating what needs done, have any of her actions been incorrect?"

"No so far we've been in synch." Beverly replied the dissatisfaction plain in her voice.

"Beverly what's really going on?"

The doctor mulled it over and realized it was pointless for her to try and hide anything form the empathic counselor. "Maybe it's something with all Trills, like Vulcan's and their lack of emotions, but there are moments when she does remind me of Odan."

"Could she be carrying his symbiont?"

"No," Beverly explained about the difference between the ridged and spotted Trill.

"Perhaps it's a relative, I often noticed certain characteristic's of yours in Wesley."

"I guess that's possible." Beverly shifted uncomfortably in her seat; she decided to continue with her concerns in-order to avoid the inevitable prodding. "It's more than just the flashes of Odan, and her medical skills, she took down two Jem'Hadar soldiers."

"Two armed Jem'Hadar." Deanna corrected her.

"Yes, that was reckless of her and also rather…"Beverly broke off unable to decide how much she wanted to reveal to Deanna.

"Arousing?" Deanna asked raising her eyebrows.

"Yes," Beverly blushed.

Deanna used all of her counseling skill not to giggle at her friend. "Perhaps you're simply predisposed to find joined species attractive."

"You are not being helpful." Beverly looked up and saw Tenaya walk into Ten forward. "And neither is that."

Both women watched as Guinan served Tenaya then pointed her toward the piano in the corner.

"Do you think she plays?" Deanna asked.

"Let's find out."

As the young doctor approached their table, Crusher put the questions to her.

"Yes,"

Beverly had expected more of an explanation. "Do you play well?"

"Yes," Tenaya replied quickly and seemed on the verge of saying more, but didn't.

"Were you accepted at the Trill Academy of Music?" Beverly asked in a challenging tone.

"Actually it's called the Iztone Institute of Music." Tenaya said rather sheepishly.

Beverly leaned back in her chair and shot Deanna a look of dread, the counselor smiled at Tenaya and said, "I for one would like to hear you."

She smiled at Troi. "Actually I'm waiting for Lt. Cmdr Data."

As if on queue the android walked into Ten-Forward carrying his violin case, he immediately joined them at their table. "Has the doctor informed you will be performing several selections for piano and violin."

"I think they figured that out." Tenaya replied then once more turned her attention to Troi. "I'm afraid I'm not familiar with Betazed music, but I hope you'll both enjoy our selections from Earth."

Deanna smiled at her, "I'm sure we will." After they had gone she whispered. "She was very sweet, but you were well a little rude."

Beverly glared, "I know, I'm having a hard time distancing myself without being rude as you so kindly put it."

"Then maybe you should stop distancing yourself."

Beverly looked at her in disbelief and in irritated whisper said, "I'm her boss, she's younger than I am, and my last experience with a Trill didn't go well."

"And the fact that she's female isn't a concern."Deanna had long suspected that if Odan had been placed in mans body not a woman's then their relationship would have continued.

"No, that's a biggest irony of all." Beverly remarked as the music started.

A few notes in Deanna glanced over at Beverly, who seemed mesmerized by the music. "That's Beethoven isn't it?"

"Yes, Moonlight Sonata, one of my favorites." Beverly replied then listened as the soft notes brought a hush over the room, Beverly wanted to comment that Tenaya's playing was perfect but she found herself too entranced in the music to speak.

Lt. Cmdr Data carefully placed his violin back in the case. "I find it odd that that Dr. Crusher left during our second selection; she usually stays for all of my performances unless there's an emergency in sick bay."

"Maybe there was one and we didn't hear it over the music?"

"I would have heard it." Data replied refraining from giving the exact accuracy of hearing he was capable of.

"Then the fault was mine."

"But you are most accomplished player."

"Thank you, it probably wasn't my playing, it might be me or maybe she doesn't like Trills."

"Her past actions with Trills seem to indicate otherwise, I believe she had strong emotional, perhaps even intimate relationship with Ambassador Odan."

Tenaya had seen Odan's name in the ships database concerning Trill's, she had even considered trying to discuss the procedures Dr. Crusher had used to transplant the symbiont to Cmdr. Riker, but suspected it wouldn't have been a welcome conversation, and now she knew why. "That's a very helpful piece of information Data."

Data looked at her in a very serious manner. "Was I gossiping by telling you that?"

"Technically, probably, but in your endeavor to be more human you need to take the good with the bad."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Nervously Tenaya pushed the enunciator. A moment later she heard Counselor Troi grant her permission to enter.

"It's good to see you Lieutenant, have a seat."

Tenaya did as she was asked.

"As you know this meeting is to see how you are adapting to life on the Enterprise."

"Things are going well." Tenaya replied, and then remembering the Counselor was an empathic added. "For the most part."

"Would you care to talk about it?"

"You know the usual period of adjustment you go through in any new situation."

"Do you feel you are making friends?" Deanna asked remembering she had seen Tenaya in ten forward on a few occasions with different female dinner companions, and Data but no medical staff.

"Yes a few, in addition to our musical interest Lt. Cmdr. Data and I are working on a project concerning bio-mechanics

"That sounds interesting." Deanna responded pleased for Data that Tenaya seemed to regard him as a friend, many new crew members were unsure of how to respond to the android.

"You see if a symbiont dies, the host will die as well even if there was nothing previously wrong with the host." Tenaya explained.

"Does that happen often?"

"The occurrences are increasing with the war."

"And you and Data are hoping to develop some kind of bio-mechanic replacement symbiont."

"It's the early stage of development."

"It sounds like a very impressive project. Have you discussed it with Dr. Crusher at all?"

Deanna received a very nervous impression from Tenaya. "No, it's really still in the idea stage."

Nodding her head Deanna considered how much to pry. "You know whatever you say will be completely confidential." Deanna assured her.

"Even from your friends?" Tenaya asked with a slight blush.

Deanna noticed the blush and a defiant emotional shift come over the lieutenant; she backed off wanting to respect Tenaya's privacy. "Yes, even from my friends."

"Please don't get be wrong I think Dr. Crusher is amazing in many ways."Despite the fact that she had backed off Deanna could sense a strong emotional reaction in Tenaya. "She just seems rather distant. I thought it was because I was new, but one of the nurses asked if I had done something to upset Dr. Crusher. And as far as I know I haven't."

"I take it you haven't talked to Dr. Crusher about this?" Deanna asked trying not to feel sorry for the young woman's predicament.

"No, I intended to do so during my evaluation meeting."

"What stopped you?"

Tenaya gave her a quizzical look. "We haven't met yet."

Deanna stopped to think about Beverly's evaluation trying to remember if there had been a confirmation signature, and wasn't sure there was. "I recommend you talk to Dr. Crusher about the evaluation, and perhaps that will clear everything up."

Needing to think about what exactly she would say to Dr. Crusher, Tenaya decided to go for a walk. She had heard lovely things about the arboretum and chose that for her destination.

To similate evening aboard ship the lighting in the arboretum was set low, so that when entered she felt as if she was on a moonlight garden path. Not being terribly interested in plant life Tenaya didn't recognize most of the vegetation she was walking beside, but she still found it pleasant.

Her mind was about to wander to the topic that brought her there when she realized she had entered a slightly brighter area of the arboretum, after a few more steps she understood why the light had been increased: she saw someone sitting just off the path reading, she considered turning back but when she saw red hair shimmering in the light, she went forward. Approaching, she quickly ran through what she was going to say, it was nearly clear in her mind when noticed that Dr. Crusher was not in her uniform, but instead was wearing a dress which revealed a very shapely pair of legs.

Sensing someone along the path Beverly looked up to see Tenaya: when she realized the younger doctor was checking out her legs she felt warmth go over her body. Just as she was about to say something Tenaya looked up straight into Beverly's eyes, the desire that was still visible in her eyes sent slight shiver across Beverly's spine.

"Sorry, to disturb you."

"It's okay; I probably shouldn't be reading in this light anyway. Have a seat." Beverly nodded.

"Thank you, what are you reading?" Tenaya asked hoping Beverly hadn't noticed where her eyes had been lingering, and still wanted to linger.

"It's an old earth novel by Jane Austen."

"Which one?"

"Persuasion"

"With the greatly reliable Anne Eliot." Tenaya replied.

"Yes," Beverly said eyeing Tenaya in great surprise. "It's not her best known work."

"No, Pride and Prejudice is, which I like, but I've always been more drawn to Anne, perhaps because she is older than Austen's other heroine's."

Beverly nodded, "I'm impressed with your Jane Austen knowledge, I don't think I know any Trill novels. "

"We're not much for romantic novels, we pride ourselves on are pursuit of higher plans of existence. We are a planet full of what Mr. Darcy thought he should be."

"I'm confused if you're such an unromantic people why have you read so much Jane Austen and how can you play Beethoven as well as you do."

"Thank you." Tenaya replied, wanting to ask Beverly why she left the performance, but afraid of spoiling the mood instead she said. "In many ways I am not very Trill like; after all I did leave the Trill initiate program."

"I assumed that Starfleet called you back to active services when the war started."

"No, I figured they probably would, and it seemed rather selfish of me to wait around to see if I was going to wash out or receive knowledge and memories from multitude of life times when I could be spending that time using knowledge I already had to save lives."

While her brain struggled at what to say in the face of such selfish Beverly was certain she felt a spot in her heart had open up to Tenaya. "Well, I guess it was serendipity that you ended up joined. Why did you think you would wash out?"

"I think they were catching on to the fact that I don't support the rejoining taboo."

"I'm not sure I know what that is."

Tenaya explained that a newly joined Trill can not continue past intimate relationships, even if the new host is willing do so.

Beverly looked at her great surprise, she didn't understand why Odan hadn't mentioned this to her. "Is this a new decree?"

"No, that's how it has always been."

"Even for the Ugaun Trill?"

"No, that's a small controversy; since the Guaran tend to dominate the host they are allowed re-associations."

"And your relationship with your symbiont is different?" Beverly asked

"It's a blending, though I don't feel much different, except for some combat training from the previous host."

"Rather impressive combat training."

"Darién was a weapons officer, but he did like novels, but not Jane Austen, his favorite was Miana Jatural. Jatural wrote about every topic of society good or bad. She wasn't always kind to the Symbiosis Commission, either. Some believe it was because they rejected her as a host, others say she rejected them, and when one of the Commissioners pleaded with her to reconsider so that her greatness could be enjoyed by future generations she it would be as long as they read her books."

"She sounds rather feisty, were you a fan as well?"

"Yes, but not as much as Darién." Tenaya said finding it suddenly early to open herself up to Beverly. "It's odd having memories of enjoying something and knowing I wouldn't enjoy it."

"How do you mean?"

"Well for starters sexual memories." Tenaya said then found herself unable to look at Beverly.

Beverly felt a darkness pass over her, it was more likely than not that Tenaya was not sexually drawn to women, of course in the past neither was Beverly. "Well that would make sense as he was a man."

Tenaya found herself once more staring at Beverly's legs, so she stood up and stepped away to a nearby tree, glancing only briefly at Beverly as she explained. "Actually I am drawn to women, an open sexuality is frequently seen as a plus for joining, that way you're more accepting of past sexual memories. I am just drawn to a different type of women. Darién really liked blondes who were overly endowed, and not overly intelligent. Intelligent is very important to me." Tenaya finished taking her eyes off the trees, and allowing them to cascade over Beverly's exquisitely shaped legs before looking up into her eyes.

"Apparently legs are too." Beverly replied with a wicked smile.

Tenaya's face turned bright red, and she sat down beside the tree where she had been standing. "I'm so sorry that was totally wrong of me." Beverly stood up beside her giving Tenaya an opportunity to look at them in a new but equally enjoyable manner.

"Perhaps we should change the subject." Beverly suggested offering Tenaya her hand.

"Yes, a different subject." Tenaya mind grouped for one, trying not to enjoy the feeling of Beverly's skin on hers. "How about performance review?"

"Interesting segue." Beverly crossed her arms and turned to face her head on. "But sense we should have talked about this earlier, you earned above average rating." Beverly said hoping she had time to make it so. "However you have a communication problem."

"Babbling."

Beverly laughed. "Apparently that's an off duty problem."

"Or a moonlight one."

"You're rather quiet during surgeries."

Tenaya's face grew very serious. "You're right when I assist you, we don't talk about the steps of the procedure's the way we should, and yet they've all worked out."

"Fortunately." Beverly said trying to sound as if she was in control, which she certainly wasn't feeling.

"I will work on that." Tenaya said "Now I will leave before I further embarrass myself, but it was very nice talking to you."

Beverly wanted to tell her how flattered she felt, but as her commanding officer it would be in appropriate, so she simply said good night and walked away, fully aware of Tenaya's eyes watching her as she did so.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

When Beverly informed her that they would be bringing back prisoners from Bak'u Tenaya had prepared for the worst: trauma physical and emotional. But the Starfleet personal she had examined so far acted as they had just come back from a pleasant shore leave. Tenaya smiled politely down at Lt. Lawrence, "Everything seems to be in order."

"That's good to hear." The young blonde women replied back staring up at Tenaya; unexpectedly she placed her hand on Tenaya's arm where her shirt sleeve had been pulled up. "The spots' don't go down your arms."

"No," Tenaya replied slowly pulling her hand away hoping to not appear rude.

"So wear do they go?"

Tenaya glanced over and saw Beverly give her a slight glare; Tenaya returned the glare with a look of disbelief. Beverly excused herself from her patient, "Can I see you in my office Doctor?"

"Of course." Tenaya replied then quickly extradited her hand.

"Having another Darién moment?" Beverly teased when Tenaya entered the office.

"What?" Tenaya asked then realized the Lieutenant would have been his type. "No not all."

"I was teasing." Beverly smiled. "What are you findings?"

"She's like all the other increased metabolism and muscle tone."

"Same here, I still want to keep them here a little longer. It's odd that they should all be feeling so good." Beverly replied very aware of how close she was standing to the young doctor.

"No signs of stress from the captivity."

"It looked more like picnic was going then any kind of imprisonment." Beverly stated wondering why her attraction seemed to be so strong today.

"How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful." Beverly replied trying to control the overwhelming urge she felt to run her finger along the spots that outlined Tenaya's check bone. "Why do you ask?"

"Well you seem radiant?" Tenaya replied in an unsteady voice.

"Fresh air and it was a beautiful planet." Beverly said blushing slightly.

"That's what the others said, and then three people asked to touch by spots."

A flash of jealousy went through Beverly. "You didn't let them did you?"

"No."

"Are they sensitive?" Beverly asked before she could stop herself.

"In some areas." Tenaya replied in a delicate slightly husky whisper that sent goose bumps over Beverly's skin.

Unable to resist Beverly eyes glanced down at Tenaya chest. The Trill leaned in a little closer. "That would be one area." The two women exchange a look of disbelief then stepped apart upon just in time for Commander La Forge to enter.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I've been having trouble with my implants."

"Tenaya, can you start the exam I'll be in shortly." Beverly requested, once they were gone she took several deep breaths trying to get a hold of herself; she couldn't believe how unprofessional she had just acted. Feeling that focusing on work would be the best distraction Beverly headed back to main sickbay, hoping with Tenaya's bio-mechanical background she would not to consult Beverly on whatever was causing Geordi's difficulty.

When she walked in Tenaya had removed his visor and Geordi was giving her an update on Data, all seemed well for the moment.

Tenaya walked into her quarters and removed her uniform jacket. Now that she knew that the Bak'u planet was causing the crew to act like teenagers things were staring to make a lot more sense. Although the teenage years for Trill's were not overly hormonal, she couldn't help but be affected by all the sexual tension on board. Especially when it was coming from Beverly Crusher, she was tempted to ask the computer where Beverly but the enunciator chimed before she had a chance.

"Come in." Tenaya replied then turned to greet her guest. To her delight it was Beverly Crusher, however she was not in her uniform, instead she had on brown pants and a cobalt blue jersey that brought out her eyes in amazing intensity.

Beverly walked in trying not to fixate on the taught tank top Tenaya was wearing. "I've just come from a meeting with the senior staff we're going down to the planet."

"I thought we had been ordered to leave the planet."

"We have been." Beverly said uneasily.

"I'm confused." Tenaya said moving closer to her.

"The captain's decided to ignore Admiral Dougherty's orders. "

"And he's asking the rest of you to do the same."

"No, of course not." Beverly said anxiously, she knew she didn't have a lot to time to get to the loading dock to meet up with the others but she felt she needed to at see Tenaya before she left. "What the Admiral is asking us to do is wrong you must see that, I mean from a medical point of view we have no idea what will happen to these people once they leave their home world, they could be as dependent on that planet as you are with your…."

"Don't try playing the symbiont card here, and as for medical point of view, I should have Picard, you and the rest the senior officers relieved of duty, your return to puberty is clearly affecting your judgment. You could be throwing away your career."

"I am a doctor and people's lives are at stake."

"And if this someone else's plan other than Jean Luc, would you be going?" Tenaya demanded.

"That has nothing to do with it." Beverly replied clenching her first in anger, she then took a deep breath, and then calmly added, "I thought you would understand; now I don't know why I even bothered coming in here to talk to you."

Dumbfounded Tenaya stared at her for a moment and then took Beverly's hand in hers. "Oh, you do know why."

Beverly glanced down at their hands and then moved closer to her. "I guess you're a little affected too."

Tenaya smiled her sheepish smiled. "I've been affected since the day I laid eyes on you." She then pulled Beverly into her arms and slowly kissed her, Beverly returned the kiss and when it was finished reluctantly stepped away.

"I have to meet the others."

Tenaya once more moved closer to her, "You are putting yourself in a great deal of danger."

Beverly suddenly remembered saying something similar to Jack long ago, and yet couldn't remember anyone ever looking at her with such intensity and say it. "I will be very careful." Beverly replied feeling as if a chapter in her life was beginning; she hurriedly kissed Tenaya once more and headed for the door.

Beverly folded her coat neatly on the rock beside her; she hoped her comment to Deanna had masked her embarrassment at the counselor's mention of firm breast. In fact she hadn't noticed her breast being firmer because she had been spending most of trek across the hills trying to disconnect from what her body was feeling.

After taking her sandwich from a befuddled looking Data she watched him walk away and then turned to Troi.

"I don't think he knows what to make of that statement."

"Did you have a chance to see her before you left?" Deanna inquired catching Beverly off guard.

"Yes"

"You were glowing when you joined us."

"We kissed." Beverly said shyly.

"Must have been some kiss." Deanna smirked.

Before Beverly could reply a series of ships appeared on the horizon and Worf called for everyone to take cover.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

After running around on the Bak'u home world it felt good to be back in sickbay and sitting on a chair. By the time the Enterprise had returned to the planet Tenaya and the rest of the staff had treated and released many of the crew that had been injured in the fighting. A few of the beds were still occupied, but it wasn't as hectic as she had expected, or perhaps wanted. She knew if things were busy in sickbay then it would be easy to avoid of any kind of personal discussion with Tenaya. Much to her relief Tenaya hadn't broached the subject yet, even in the few minutes they had alone earlier in the lab, when it took every ounce of professionalism for Beverly not to embrace her. Of course she also had another professional reason for wanting to avoid the young doctor.

Hearing footsteps Beverly looked up and saw Tenaya enter the office, she gave Beverly a quick but positive update on a crew member whose kidney she had replaced a few days prior.

Beverly received the news grateful there was desk between them.

"Can we talk for a moment?" Tenaya asked.

Beverly nodded to the chair. "Of course."

Tenaya sat down in the chair opposite of Beverly. "So are we pretending that nothing happened in the hope that we get further from the planet all urges will end?"

A slight smile flittered across Beverly's lips, not only because of her own feelings for Tenaya but she found the young girls interest in her flattering. "As I am your supervising officer I thought it might be prudent to do so."

"Starfleet has no actual rules against such fraternization." Tenaya reminded her.

Beverly nodded her head in agreement. "I know but if things didn't work out, it could create a very awkward situation for both of us."

"Why are you afraid it wouldn't work out?"

"For starters I'm several years older than you."

"Technically though with Darién's memories combined with age of the symbiont the difference are slight." Tenaya then added in an extremely sensual tone, "And you are incredibly beautiful highly desirable women."

Beverly felt her mouth go dry. "There's something else."

"What?"

"Since the Enterprise is going in for repairs before it heads to the next diplomatic mission I'm being sent to the Hopkins."

"A combat medical ship." Tenaya interrupted her, "If this is this your punishment for standing up for Picard he needs to intervene on your behalf. This is totally inappropriate"

"I received the order before the rebellion."

"Still you're too valuable." Tenaya insisted hotly, and then grabbed her medical tricorder. "And most likely still suffering from the effects of the metaphasic radiation planet, you defiantly have slightly elevated heart rate. I could go in your place."

"You've been reassigned with me." Beverly replied.

"Oh." Tenaya said with a slight smile, then in a more serious manner added. "So it's into the brink we go."

"Which is why we need to put everything aside for the moment."

Tenaya was silent for a moment and then nodded, "I understand." Tenaya got up and Beverly thought she was going to leave but instead she crossed over to the other side of the desk leaned forward and kissed Beverly who reciprocated. "I Thought I would do that while I could still blame the planet."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The Hopkins was a Discovery class starship that had been transformed into a medical emergency vessel just prior to the war. Its main task at that time was bringing medical supplies and treatments to planets hit by natural disaster or endemics. Since the war it had helped rescue refugee's and provided medical aid to those injured in battle campaigns. When Beverly and Tenaya arrived the Hopkins was assisting the Nebula class USS Lafayette with rescue missions.

Some days the hospital wards over flowed with victims from Dominion attacks, other days they felt lucky just to be monitoring and treating patients whose names they barely remembered.

Living quarters were at a premium, and as such Beverly and Tenaya had been assigned to share quarters; which consisted of two bunks, a couch, and refresher. After all her years on the Enterprise Beverly felt a little cramped by the situation, and was worried about how well she and Tenaya could live up to their agreement. The first week they were so busy that at least to Beverly what had started to develop between them on the Enterprise seemed a memory from years past. But once she was a little more settled in she would find herself glancing over at Tenaya, just catching a certain glint in her eye, and she knew that what happened between them wasn't caused by the planet. Often Beverly would come in from a shift and find Tenaya, with just her uniform jacket removed asleep on the top bunk. She would study her carefully for a moment or two, and just when she thought she could no longer resist the urge to touch her she would crawl into her own bunk and go to sleep.

As they were in such close quarters Beverly tried her best to be respectful of the physical action she knew Tenaya had for her, and therefore when she had to change close she did so in the refresher, but there were a few occasions when she forgot.

Stepping into the quarters she shared with Beverly, Tenaya unzipped her uniform jacket and placed it on a chair and sank down on the lower bunk. Hearing the door to the refresher open Tenaya glanced over, and immediately felt her heart lunge. Beverly stood before her wearing only a towel, which she held tightly clutched to her chest. Tenaya's eyes went to her legs finding them even lovelier than she had remebered.

"I'm sorry I forgot my clothes." Beverly apologized nervously

Tenaya glanced down at the clothes lying on the bunk before her; she gathered them up and stood. "Why are you apologizing?"

Beverly gave her a pleading look. "You know why."

"I know you are beautiful."

Beverly felt a shiver run across her spine, and wondered if it was what Tenaya said or how she said it that made her react that way, as Tenaya moved closer to her she decided it didn't matter. "Tenaya, I should get dressed."

For a moment Tenaya studied her and then a voice that seemed to be a caress said, "You don't think of yourself as beautiful, but you are, your skin, your hair, when I come in and you're asleep it's so hard not to touch it, you are so very beautiful, and so much we've seen lately isn't, and we've had to shut down parts of ourselves to get through, it's starting to worry me, I was wondering if I would I ever feel truly alive again."

Beverly wondered how Tenaya was able to so clearly echo her own feelings, but in the end decided it didn't matter. Tenaya placed her free hand over Beverly's hand that clutched tightly at the towel; she gave Beverly a questioning look. Knowing once in her life that this was not something she should overly analyze, she nodded her head and let the towel fall. Tenaya tossed Beverly's close back on the bed and slowly moved her hands across Beverly's shoulders, down her arms, Tenaya's eyes roamed over the women who stood before her memorizing and appreciating everything she saw, when her hands reached Beverly's hips she pulled Beverly next to her, Beverly wrapped her arms around Tenaya and they kissed, slowly at first, but as Tenaya's hands travelled over Beverly's body the intensity of the kisses grew.

Alive was defiantly what Beverly was feeling, passionately alive. She pulled Tenaya's turtleneck and under garments off and remembering what Tenaya had said about her spots, she moved her hands over their path across Tenaya's outer breasts. Her actions were reward with a deep moan from Tenaya. Beverly then took her by the hand and guided her to the bottom bunk. Once there lying side by side the kisses and caress grew more intense. Beverly couldn't understand why she had felt she had to deny herself this great pleasure, she was about relieve Tenaya of the rest of her uniform when the intercom beep announcing a red alert.

Breathing heavily, Tenaya relaxed her grip and muttered, "I really hate the Cardassians, and the Jem'Hadar, and any other evil being we are fighting."

"I totally agree." Beverly replied as Tenaya got out of the bunk.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Earth was under attack by the Breen. The Hopkins and USS Lafayette arrived just a few hours after the assault had begun. While the Lafayette along with a handful of other starships fought off the attack fighters and cruisers the Hopkins focused on emergency beam out of Starfleet personnel from head quarters. To avoid direct fire the Hopkins had gone into the lower atmosphere. This kept them clear of the cruisers but not the attack fighters, since they had to drop their shields to beam people out they had started to sustain some damage. After a few hits the Hopkins CMO Dr. Keller gave the order to stabilization all patients, rather than risk a surgery that could go horribly wrong with unsteady hands.

Shortly after this command was given Dr. Keller ordered Tenaya and Beverly to the bridge. Alone on the turbo left Tenaya glanced over at Beverly and asked. "Do you know anyone down there?"

"I just pronounced a nurse I worked with at Starfleet Medical."

Tenaya took her hand and squeezed it, that was all the comfort she could give before the doors to the bridge opened. Medical kits in hand they stepped onto a heavily damaged bridge, the air held a strong scent of burnt flesh; they saw several bodies on the floor. Tenaya was about to go to one when Beverly grabbed her arm. "Tenaya take the helm."

Tenaya eyes went to the view screen, the Gate Bridge was smoldering and they were heading straight for it, and there was no one at navigation.

Beverly glanced around the bridge which had obviously been hit hard; all of the bridge crew were incapacitated except for a young man working feverishly at ops."Report." Beverly demanded as she found the captain and scanned him only to find him dead.

"Shields at 30%, weapons and warp off line." The young man informed her.

The Beverly glanced at the view screen relieved to find they were no longer in a downward spiral. "Do we have impulse."

"I'm using thrusters." Tenaya replied.

Beverly went to ops noticed the young man's rank he was ensign. "What's your name and can you get the impulse engines back on line?"

"O'Reily and I'm not sure." The young man replied. "I'm trying to re-route power, but it doesn't seem to be working."

Beverly watched him for a moment, then realizing his mistake quickly took over the controls. The ship was shook once more as she drew power away from life support to the impulse.

"Shields down to 20%." The ensign remarked. "And there's a Breen fighter closing in from port."

"Impulse engines on line." Beverly announced. "I'm working on weapons."

Tenaya quickly laid in a course and speed.

Beverly held onto the op station as Tenaya brought the ship hard around starboard.

"The Breen are in pursuit." The Ensign announced.

"Of course they are." Tenaya replied.

"I've got forward phasers." Beverly announced.

"Understood." Tenaya replied. "Hang on."

"Be ready to fire on my mark." Beverly informed the ensign somehow knowing exactly what Tenaya had in mind. The ship lurched backward and down at the same time, as she suspected the Breen fighter climbed to avoid a collision exposing it's under belly. "Fire."

The ensign did as ordered, the beam struck the ship dead on causing an explosion that would soon engulf the ship, by that time Tenaya had gotten them a safe distance away and was heading into the outer atmosphere.

"Good job, both of you." Beverly remarked.

"You as well." Tenaya replied. "Now where you do you want me to take this thing?"

"Sir, sensors indicate more starships indicate that the remaining Breen are retreating and we are being hailed."

"Open a channel."

A familiar voice rang out over the speaker, "This is Jean Luc Picard of the Starship enterprise, I've taken command of the fleet, all rescue ships need to transport survivors to the New Philadelphia Mars colony."

Beverly smiled. "To Mars, Lieutenant."

"To Mars it is Captain."

Captain had been the correct way to address Beverly; she would spend the remainder of the war as the Hopkins captain. With Tenaya continuing on as part of the medical staff, they would not continue to share quarters however. Beverly knew Tenaya was not happy with that decision, but the Breen attack had changed many things and brought so many new responsibilities that Beverly felt they had to honor the pledge they had made.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Beverly sat nervously in Ten Forward. It was nice to be back on the Enterprise, especially since the war was over. The newly repaired Enterprise was setting out on its first post war mission, but before it could depart Starfleet insisted on ceremony. The crew of the the Enterprise E, were to receive the Presidents Council Award, while Beverly and Tenaya were being given valor awards. In addition, Tenaya who was sitting stoically on Beverly's rights was to be made a lieutenant commander. The Hopkins had rescued a lot of Starfleet's top brass and they were very grateful, a fact that was confirmed by the speeches they felt oblique to give.

Of course that gratitude meant that Beverly and Tenaya could have been assigned anywhere they chose. When Beverly had informed Tenaya that she intended to go back to the Enterprise a look of sadness had crossed her eyes. Although they had stuck by their pledge Beverly new she still had feelings for Tenaya and suspected the younger women's feelings hadn't changed. Beverly also knew Tenaya was an amazing doctor and a fine officer, an even though the Enterprise E was an impressive ship, Beverly felt she was holding Tenaya back.

Beverly's thoughts returned to the present when Admiral Paris called Tenaya's name she watch the young woman rise and walk to the podium. As the Admiral reminded the audience of Tenaya's valiant accomplishment her expression was one of modesty. That modesty was one of her most enduring qualities. Beverly suspected that her own expression was one of pride; of course it was the feelings Beverly had for her other than pride, that she wasn't sure what to do about.

Looking back she knew that when she had led Tenaya to the lower bunk that she had been totally assure of herself and what she wanted. After the attack she also new she had to put her feelings and desires aside. She had spent more than one uneasy night aboard the Hopkins remembering how it felt to be in Tenaya's arms, how alive and how complete she had felt. Perhaps it was the intenstify of those feelings that made her worry about where things would head.

After Beverly and Jean Luc received the awards the audience gave them a standing ovation and the reception began.

Jean Luc turned to his fellow recipients and offered them his congratulations.

"And to you as well Sir." Tenaya replied in a very formal voice.

"It was long over due in your case Jean Luc." Beverly said warmly.

"Thank you." Jean Luc replied then turned his attention to Tenaya. "I was very pleased that you decided to continue aboard the Enterprise."

"Well she's hard to leave." Tenaya replied in a low tone that had Beverly fighting not to shudder. Tenaya then excused herself and left. Beverly glanced over at Jean Luc who seemed about to ask a question but didn't.

Tenaya searched the crowd for Data, she found him having a conversation with one of the Admirals. She wasn't in the mood to talk to any brass so she decided to wait.

"That was some very impressive flying you did." Riker announced from behind her.

Turning around she found Riker and Deanna Troi. The counselor handed her a glass of champagne. "I thought you might like this."

"Emphaths are really handy." Tenaya smiled and took the glass from Deanna, and wondered why she had never noticed how captivity the Betazed was.

"Not really good at flying though." Riker remarked. "Deanna was at the controls when the Enterprise D crashed."

"You told me to take the helm." Deanna reminded him playfully. "And I did land it mostly in-tack."

"Now that had to be impressive flying." Tenaya said in Deanna's defense.

The Betazed smiled at her and Tenaya fought back an image of kissing those lips, but it didn't feel as much like a fantasy as it did a memory, as for as she knew Darien had never known Deanna Troi, though she was certain he would have liked to. Tenaya looked back into Deanna's eyes and saw a trace of amusement and concern, Tenaya felt certain Deanna had sensed her thoughts and was very grateful when she was paged to sickbay.

In sickbay she was informed by the duty nurse, that crewman from engineering that she had operated on earlier seemed to be developing an infection. Tenaya checked the scan and confirmed the diagnoses; infections were rare in Starfleet medical facilities, and usually caused by equipment failure. She instructed the nurse on how she wanted the patient treated, and then decided to run a diagnostic on the equipment she had used. Just as she finished the diagnostic which revealed no error the nurse came into the lab.

"The patients fever was lessoning, but vitals are still unstable."

"Page Dr. Crusher." Tenaya ordered as she headed back into sickbay.

As the nurse did so Tenaya ran a level three bioscan over the wound. Somehow it had not completely closed.

"Sub-dermal scalpel." Tenaya ordered, but once it was in her hands she wasn't sure what to do with it.

"Doctor, do you want me to turn on the sterile field?" The nurse had asked.

"Or course." Tenaya said and then continued to stare at the instrument in her hand.

She heard the sick bay doors open and saw Beverly walk in. "What's going on?"

"It didn't close." Tenaya said then not knowing what else to do handed Beverly the scalpel and walked away.

Beverly was about to push the enunciator when the door to Tenaya's cabin opened and out walked a young blonde female crew member whose name Beverly could not place. She gave Beverly an irritated look and walked away. It had been several hours sense Tenaya had left sickbay Beverly had easily repaired the wound, but had wanted to review the computer records of the surgery before talking to Tenaya, she had then been delayed by one of the Admirals allergic reaction to Trill delicacy.

Stepping into Tenaya cabin Beverly tried not to be presumptions about what she might have interrupted, but seeing that Tenaya had removed her uniform jacket and turtleneck and was standing before her in a tank top and uniform pants Beverly found a hot streak of jealously go through her body.

"Hello." Tenaya greeted her defiantly.

"I thought you would want an update on the patient." Beverly said regaining some of her professional composure.

"I contacted sickbay a short while ago." Tenaya informed her. "Sorry about dragging you away from the reception, I bet you and Jean Luc didn't have much of a chance to get caught up?"

Beverly's voice was like steel. "There's nothing going on between me and Jean Luc, can you say the same for you and whoever that was?"

"Ensign Tate of engineering, and nothing happened. Of course there is also nothing happening between you and I either." Tenaya let loose a sad laugh. "Why do you suppose it is that you can inspire such great emotion in people, and you feel no need to reciprocate, you've been on ship filled with thousands of people and still you are alone? Then tell me in addition to being the wrong sex, am I also the wrong type of Trill?"

Beverly gave an infuriated look. "Odan was a long time ago, and how do you even know about him."

"Did you love him?"

Beverly's mind was swirling. "Why are acting like this?" She picked up a medical tricorder from a nearby table.

"Please don't scan me." Tenaya insisted placing her hand over the tricorder.

"Then tell me what's going on."

Tenaya moved her hands up Beverly's arms as she spoke. "I'm not sure, my mind is muddled, thoughts and feelings are unclear except the ones I have about you."

Taking a step closer Tenaya gently moved her hands to Beverly's waist then up underneath her dress jacket, finding skin. Beverly shuddered at Tenaya's touch, she knew she should be pull away, but instead moved toward her, there lips touched hesitantly at first and then eagerly. Just when Beverly's concern had remerged enough that she could pull away she felt Tenaya grip tighten on her, and heard a moan escape from the other women. But it was not a moan of desire it was one of pain. Tenaya's knees buckled and Beverly helped her to the couch, her body began to shake, Beverly called for medical team and began to scan her.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"So what have you discovered?" Jean Luc asked once Beverly entered his ready room.

"Trill's have neuron receptacles called isoboramine; hers had dropped to 70%, which usually doesn't occur unless there's some kind of tissue damage to the symbiont." Beverly answered as she paced.

"And there isn't any?"

"The scan's I can do indicate the symbiont is fine. I've put Tenaya on a regiment of Benzocy her levels are starting to increase when I believe they are stable enough I'm going to attempt an internal scan of the symbiont."

"Have you been able to contact her physician on Trill?" Growing more concern Jean Luc rose from his chair and guided Beverly to the couch.

"No, I've been in contact with the Symbiosis Commission but they keep giving me the run around, at one point they even claimed she hadn't been joined, and they've never heard of the anti-rejection medication that was prescribed to her." Beverly took a worried breath. "Jean Luc if there is something wrong with the symbiont and I have to remove it Tenaya will die."

"I'll have the helm lay in a course for Trill immediately and see if I can cut through some bureaucratic red tape."

Beverly squeezed Jean Luc's hand, "Thank you."

"She's a most impressive young woman." Jean Luc stated as they stood.

"Yes she is." Beverly replied then feeling herself on the verge of tears she thank him once more and headed to sickbay.

Once there she was relieved to find Tenaya setting up. It took every ounce of reserve on Beverly's part not to embrace her, instead she checked her isoboramine levels and found they were nearly normal she then asked, "How are feeling?"

"Fuzzy." Tenaya replied.

"How so?" Beverly asked taking her hand and trying to convince herself that she would do the same with any other patient.

"I keep getting images of things I never did, places I've never been."

"Perhaps those are Darién memories."

"No, they can't be." Tenaya replied struggling against the image of walking along the beach with a very young Deanna, this was replaced, by the image of Beverly, younger than when they had met, Beverly was in her arms, but they weren't her arms.

Beverly glanced at the monitor and noted Tenaya's increased pulse rate. "Tenaya, what do you see? Why can't they be his memories?"

"Because you're in them, your uniform is different, Trio's in them I think she's on Betazed." Tenaya blushed. "And then I'm in a shuttle with Riker, I've never been near a shuttle with Riker, I think the shuttles attacked I remember searing pain."

Beverly was stunned, her mind raced for an explanation, while she forced the most obvious one away from her conscious, because that one couldn't be true, how could Tenaya's symbiont have memories of Deanna on Betazed, unless they were the ones Riker had passed on after Odan had been injured in the shuttle accident, an accident Riker had been present for. "Tenaya focus my voice and don't think about that." Beverly gently stoked the side spots along Tenaya's check. "I'm going to make an incision so I can scan your symbiont. I'm going to put you under to do so."

Tenaya nodded in agreement, "I trust you Beverly."

"I know you do." Beverly replied then ordered a sedative.

The scan on the symbiont revealed indications of organ failures, if that was all Beverly felt certain she could save them both, but there was also evidence of cellar decay that she new she couldn't undo.

Anxiously Beverly stared at the computer waiting for the results of the test she hadn't mentioned to Tenaya, the DNA test she had run. After all if she had been given an Ugaun symbiont Odan or someone else it could explain what was happening. Finally the computer finished its analysis, Beverly looked at the results with disbelief the DNA strand she had taken from Tenaya and the one she had on file for Odan were not a complete match, but close enough to be related. She was about to request a subspace channel, when she received a page from Jean Luc.

"Beverly, I've gotten some information from Trill."

"What have found out."

"I had a hard time getting answers so I contacted Ambassador Odan, I have her on subspace." Jean Luc said in very gentle voice.

"I take it on my viewer, and thank you Jean Luc." Beverly replied grateful the captain had thought to contact the ambassador.

Even though she new it was impossible a part of Beverly still expected to see the Odan she new and loved appear on her screen, instead she saw Kareel Odan the woman who had become his new host, the woman she had rejected.

"Hello Dr. Beverly." Kareel said once she was sure Beverly had recognized her.

Bevery did like her using that term, a fact that further fueled her fustration, "Odan, what the hell is going on?"

"I take it you've done a DNA scan on your patient's symbiont."

"It's carrying part of your DNA, why is that?"

"In simplest term genetic splicing, a cloned Ugaun and Non-Ugaun symbiont."

"Why would the symbiont commission do such a thing."

"They didn't Dr. Palaus was conducting the experiments on his own to increase the number of symbionts available to everyone."

"So she's not the only one with this hybrid."

"No, he's been doing for three years. He got a hold of my DNA after I returned from the Enterprise, used it to clone several symbionts, and then created the hybrids. The first were discovered last year both the host and the symbiont died. As did Dr. Palaus, trying to evade capture.

"What should I do?"

"I have Dr. Renhol monitoring this transmission; she'll be able to tell you more. I'm so sorry this has happened. I'll switch you over to her. It was good to see you again, and good luck."

"Thank you."

Once the woman had exchanged quick pleasantries Dr. Renhol asked, "Has the cellar decay started?"

"Yes." Beverly replied her voice full of angst.

"It will continue at an accelerated rate."

"How long?"

"7 to 10 hours."

"Should I remove it from Tenaya?"

"Not as long as the symbiont is alive."

"We're still days from Trill will I be able to put her in stasis."

"Usually the host isn't stable enough; her body is biologically dependant on the symbiont."

"I know." Beverly replied tensely.

The doctor gave her an understanding look. "You can probably keep her body alive through artificial means, her heart, lungs and kidneys all vital organs will respond, except the brain."

Beverly thanked the doctor, and was about to sign off, when a thought occurred to her. "If I can keep her alive, would she be able to receive a new symbiont."

"Normally, a host doesn't want a new symbiont."

"But these circumstances aren't normal." Beverly reminded her.

The doctor nodded her head in agreement. "Is she conscious?"

"In and out."

"Make sure this is what she wants and if you can get her here I'll make sure she's joined."

Beverly signed off and paged Data to sickbay.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Upon Data's arrival Beverly immediately began to fill him on what she had in mind.

"You want me to build the posatronic brain for the artificial symbiont Dr. Enar and I have been working on."

"I didn't know you been working with her on a project."

"Yes we started the project two months and six days after she came on board."

"How far did you get?"

"The artificial heart has been built."

"What about the brain?" Beverly asked the excitement clear in her voice.

Data moved to a computer station, "She informed me at the reception that she had sent me schematics, some of which she based on your research concerning cybernetics." Data quickly read through the information on the screen. "It's promising."

"I don't need promising I need to know if it will work."

"Yes, as long as the majority of her body systems are being kept alive by other means, the artificial brain should be able to interact and sustain her for a limited time."

"How long to build it?"

Data did a very quick calculation. "Five hours."

Beverly glanced at the monitor for the symbiont, "I don't think she has five hours." Then went to a nearby cabinet and pulled out a neurolink. "Data if I hook this up to you would you me able to act as a temporary symbiont brain as you build the posatronic one."

"I would have to be careful to limit the information I send to her, and I would not suggest maintaining the link for any longer than possible. But yes I can do it, however to accommodate the range of the neurolink I will need to bring some equipment from the cybernetics lab to do so."

"Bring whatever you need."

As Data went to make arrangements Beverly looked over the schematics, very impressed with what Tenaya had done with her ideas.

Although she would have preferred not to, she awoke Tenaya. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and although she smiled Beverly could tell she was in pain.  
>"How is it you can look tired and beautiful at the same time?" Tenaya asked in weak voice then reached out for Beverly's hand.<p>

"That's more your trick than mine."Beverly laughed and leaned in closer to Tenaya, she then filled in Tenaya on the situation with her symbiont and the choice she needed to make.

Tenaya released Beverly's hand, then placed her own hand on Beverly's cheek and then guided her mouth towards her own; the kiss was soft, slow, and gentle. When it was over Tenaya said, "I like living." She then drifted off into unconsciousness.

An hour later the symbiont was dead, shortly thereafter Beverly had placed Tenaya on life support, and she was still on the Benzocy to raise her isoboramine levels up.

"Are you ready Data?" Beverly asked holding out the transmitter.

"Yes, and I am a little ahead of my estimation concerning the posatronic brain."

Beverly placed a neurolink onto Tenaya's forehead then placed the other on Data's forehead.

A curious expression soon over came Data's features, "Interesting." Data said then looked at Beverly in a mystified and then almost loving manner. "Doctor I believe Lt. Cmdr Enar has some very strong feelings…"

"Which are private, so you should probably turn your emotion chip off." Beverly requested in a soft tone.

A hurt expression crossed Data face, "Yes I should." His head made a slight jerk and a blank expression returned to his features. "Thank you doctor that was an amazing experience."

Beverly wasn't sure what to say as a reply, but Data didn't seem to expect one, he simply turned and went back to work.

Hours later Data had finished, the brain fit easily in the palm of his hand, Beverly attacked into the symbiont pouch and then disconnected the neurolink from Data, she placed a modified transmitter on Tenaya in order to interact the posatronic brain, the computer noted a drop in brain wave patterns and then they returned to normal.

With tears in her eyes Beverly sank down into the chair beside Tenaya's bed. "You're going to make it Tenaya."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Beverly couldn't remember that last time she had been able to sleep through the night. After the posatronic brain had been attached Deanna had dragged out of sickbay and told her rest, she had slept but not peacefully.

Once they had arrived on Trill the symbiosis doctors took over, they seemed hesitant but in the end decided to try a new symbiont. Beverly asked to witness the procedure but was told politely no. Once the procedure was over she was told she'd have to wait at least 96 hours before she could see her. Although she wanted to stay on Trill Jean Luc and Deanna persuaded her to return to the ship.

Ever the good friend Deanna walked her to her quarters. Once there the counselor orders a cup of chamomile tea for her. "You really should get some rest."

"I know I just hope I did what Tenaya wanted."

"How do you mean?" Deanna asked handing her the hot liquid.

"Dr. Renhol said that most Trill don't want to live after the symbiont dies." Beverly replied as Deanna joined her on the couch.

"But she was trying to create an artificial symbiont." Deanna reminded her. "And she told you she wanted to live."

Beverly took a small sip of the tea, the warm liquid was comforting, and "I know but as the commission reminded me that was before I took the symbiont."

"But they are going ahead with it."

"Yes, I think her invention convinced them to do so."

"So let it convince you."

"She did say she wasn't like most Trill's." Beverly smiled softly.

"I for one don't think her connection with the symbiont was as strong as her feelings for you."

Beverly blushed slightly and then eyes seemed to darken.

"What wrong." Deanna asked picking up on the shift in Beverly.

"A selfish thought." Beverly said dismissively.

"We're all allowed those."

Pensively Beverly explained. "Once a host and symbiont join, there's a blending that occurs, I may have saved Tenaya's body, but the new joining, hell even the death of her old symbiont, probably means a new and different Tenaya."

"Beverly, you said it yourself it's a blending, in ways that matters the most she'll be the same Tenaya that you…."

"Love," Beverly finished for her, even thought it was a word that came easily to her.

"I didn't want to be presumptuous."

"Neither do I, truth be told I've been so busy keeping my feelings for her in check I don't know what they are, was a I drawn to her because she did carry part of Odan, or because of her attraction to me. And then I start thinking about Jack and what we shared, and wondering if he were alive which one would I choose."

"But Jacks not alive Beverly, Tenaya is."

"And her staying her alive might just have to be good enough."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

When Beverly walked in Tenaya was standing by a window, sunlight glistening off her hair, and smiling, she wasn't in her uniform, instead was dressed in a burgundy suit similar to one Beverly had seen the Trill doctors wearing.

Tenaya held out the posatronic brain to her and said, "That was very clever of you."

Beverly came further into the room, "Actually it was your design, and Data is the one to build."

Tenaya stepped away from the window and laid the brain on a near by table. "But you figured out how to keep me alive in-order for him to build it."

"I was worried I wasn't doing the right thing for you." Beverly said uneasily.

"Oh, you did the right thing; the doctors revived me once I was here."

Anger flashed through Beverly, Tenaya noticed immediately. "I didn't think they had consulted with you, I know I was suppose to feel lost with out it, but I didn't, for whatever reason the joining wasn't complete, not like it is now." Tenaya glanced down at her stomach.

"What's the name."

"Howdell." Tenaya smiled her sheepish smile.

Beverly chuckled briefly, "That's close to my maiden name of Howard."

"I know." Tenaya replied moving closer to Beverly. "I read your file before I came on the Enterprise, and your holo image doesn't do you justice."

Tenaya took Beverly's hand in hers. "Beverly I still love you. I was afraid that might change, that some how the symbiont was responsible for what I felt, or the new joining might change it. But that's defiantly not the case."

Unable to resist any longer Tenaya pulled her close and kissed her, Beverly responded eagerly even going so far as to wrap her arms the younger women in a tight embrace. The touch was the same, the kiss the same everything was gloriously the same. When they finished Beverly stepped slightly back and sighed in relief.

"I agree." Tenaya replied.

Beverly nodded and with that nod her expression changed from one of joy, to uncertainty. "The doctors want you stay a little longer, and the Enterprise has been called away."

"I understand." Tenaya said solemnly, then stepped further away.

"When they're satisfied that you're healthy you can come back aboard." Beverly assured her.

Tenaya picked up the symbiont brain once more. "The science academy here on Trill wants to study this, if properly developed this could save a lot of lives."

A cold dark chill ran through Beverly. "And they want you to be part of that."

Tenaya nodded her head in agreement.

"I understand." Beverly said the hollowness in voice reflected by a sudden hollowness in her eyes.

"You could work on the project as well."

Beverly shook her head. "You don't need my help."

"Or is it that you don't want to leave the Enterprise." Tenaya said bluntly. "We never talked about why you wanted to go back."

Beverly, "It's my home I'm comfortable there, when you're research is done I'm sure you'll be able to return."

"And then what happens?" Tenaya asked walking back to her.

"What do you mean?"

"Will we be lovers, and if we become lovers, will it just be that or will we be a couple, I just can't see that happening aboard that ship. Not that I think it's the actual ship, or even someone on the ship more like something from your past you've link with it."

"I'm not sure I'm following what you're saying." Beverly replied bitterly. "Of course I wasn't just given five life times of relationship experience to draw on."

"I'm still on a memory blocker, so I'm just dealing with two or three, but all you have to do is stay to prove me wrong."

"I can't, and considering how you acting that might be best, you may have changed more than you realize."

"I know I have changed, but I still want us to be together, and to be happy, that won't happen as long as you are on the Enterprise."

"I'm not ready to leave." Beverly replied hoarsely.

"Then let me know when you are." Tenaya placed her hands on either side of Beverly face and kissed her.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen (Two years later.)

The wedding was beautiful Beverly couldn't believe how enchanting Deanna looked or how happy and nervous Riker looked. Of course she would have been able to enjoy the services more if she had been able to locate Tenaya. In her last letter Tenaya had told that she was planning on coming, but that was a few months past. Beverly remembered the first time she received a letter from Tenaya it had been several months after they spoke on Trill. The letter was a delightful surprise; she had considered writing to Tenaya but was unsure if Tenaya had wanted to hear from here. All doubt had disappeared when she read the opening line of _I miss you. _ The letter went on to describe several places on Trill she would like Beverly to see and it then went on to talk about Tenaya's work.

When Beverly replied she began the letter with _I miss you too_, which took a lot for her to admit, because she still wasn't sure how much of the person she missed still existed. For the past two years they had sent letters at pretty regular intervals, Beverly found herself opening up more and more to Tenaya. Over time she came to realize that there were differences, but many things were the same.

Beverly had also come to realize that Tenaya had been right about her staying on the Enterprise because of a link from her past, and that link was Jack, but more than just Jack.

It was until just after Data began his stylish rendition of 'Blue Skies' that Beverly felt someone's eyes on her, she scanned the room, and spotted Tenaya looking contently upon her. She quickly excused herself from the captain's table and headed over to Tenaya, the young Trill's eyes never left her once.

When they were finally face to face Beverly, spoke first, "You're starring."

"Can't be helped." Tenaya smile brightened. "Your hair's a little a shorter."

"And you have a new pip on your collar, Cmdr. Howdell."

"I didn't even have to fly for this one."

Tenaya letters would always included information about a new assignment, including her destination and what she hoped to accomplish there, she rarely wrote about her success, but Beverly new them anyway. "The adaptations of the symbiont brain to combat Bendii syndrome in Vulcan's." Beverly offered.

"That was part of it." Tenaya replied humbly.

"The plague on Bolirus."

"That was probably the other part."

"Good job and congratulations." Beverly said then glanced around the room until she spotted Wesley. "Now, there is someone I'd like you to meet."

Beverly turned and walked away in doing so she messed the worried look on Tenaya face. They reached a table where a young man was sitting with two twin girls. He got up immediately when they approached.

"Tenaya Howdell, my son Wesley Crusher."

Filled with relief Tenaya offered Wesley her hand, he shook studied her carefully for a moment and then asked. "Are you the same related to the Howdell, who theorized the possibility of Warp 9.99 through the redistribution of the plasma, before it enters the nacelles?"

"He was a previous host of my symbiont."

"So you have his memories. Wow, I'd like to talk to you about his ideas." Wesley glanced at his mother and realized now was not the time. "But not right now, I have to dance; it was great to finally meet you."

"You made a good impression." Beverly stated once they had gone.

"You know when you said there was someone you wanted me to meet I was worried it might be a fiancée, husband or some other romantic attachment." Tenaya said uneasily.

"Oh," Beverly replied coyly.

"So is there?"

"No, and you?" Beverly asked fully aware of the answer.

"Would I have been staring at you like that if there was?" Tenaya replied in that familiar low, husky tone of hers.

Beverly inadvertently bit her lower lip. "No you wouldn't." They were standing very close and Beverly felt certain Tenaya was about to move closer instead she step back and looked around the room.

"Speaking of romance I should probably greet the happy couple, care to join me?"

Congratulations were quickly exchanged and talk of assignments had began when Data joined them at the table, when he arrived Tenaya a most unusual request, at least it was one Beverly couldn't recall hearing someone previously make. "Mr. Data, may I give you a hug?"

Data tilted his head slightly and replied, "That would seem an appropriate response under the circumstance."

Tenaya quickly stood up and wrapped her arms around Data's torso and squeezed, awkwardly Data his arms around Tenaya.

"Gently Data." Riker said, echoing Deanna and Beverly's thoughts.

"Thank you Data for everything." Tenaya replied once the embrace had ended.

"You are welcome, but I should also be thanking you as well." Data said glancing at Beverly then back at Tenaya. "Our link allowed me to experience emotions I had previously never felt."

A look of embarrassment fell over Tenaya's features, "I had not thought about that, you would have access to my memories, but was it just memories or other images."

A look of concern crossed Data's face, Tenaya pushed him away from the table he dutifully followed, but Riker, Deanna and Beverly continued to stare and tried to listen, only catching the phrase, "She's got the legs for it" which caused Beverly to blush.

Data and Tenaya's exchange was ended with a hand shake and they returned to the table, where Tenaya announced. "I told him to feel free to access the emotions, to but bury the images."

The group smiled except for Riker who asked. "Tenaya when you had the Odan clone did it pass on any memories from when I was the host?"

"Yes, but you have my word as a Starfleet officer that those are deeply buried." Tenaya extended her hand to Riker, and avoided all eye contact with Deanna.

"As I hope his are." Deanna teased.

Will and Beverly exchanged uneasy look which Tenaya quizzically noted.

"You have my word as Starfleet office as well." Riker replied as he took Tenaya's hand.

"Well this looks like a very handsome group." A slightly familiar voice announced.

Beverly turned and found that the voice belonged to Capt. Krylack who was standing with Jean Luc.

"Allow me to do the introductions." Jean Luc said graciously. He began with Data, then went onto the newly weds we he got to Beverly Capt. Krylack interrupted him. "I know the good doctor from her Academy days."

"How are you Ryan?" Beverly asked hoping he would not mention the assignment he had offered her.

"Excellent."

Beverly decided to take over the introductions. "Do you know Cmdr. Tenaya Howdell?"

"As a matter of fact she's my chief medial officer aboard the USS Blackwell." The Captain beamed.

Beverly felt certain her jaw dropped, Tenaya gave her a warm but guilty looking smile.

Beverly and Tenaya strolled through the halls of the Enterprise. At Beverly's suggestion they had decided to go for a walk just prior to the traditional throwing of the garter and bouquet.

"So when were you going to tell me about your new assignment?"

"Well, I was hoping to do so right after you accepted the offer to be the first officer of the Blackwell."

Beverly nodded her head and smiled "I thought it might be something like that."

"I didn't want to influence your decision." Tenaya replied as they found their way into ten forward. Beverly led her to a quite spot near a window. The waitress came and took their drink order; once she was gone they found themselves staring intently at one another, until Tenaya broke the silence.

"I probably should have put this in one of my letters, but I wanted to say it face to face. I'm sorry for what I said on Trill."

"You said what you felt, and something I needed to hear." Beverly said gently

"It was?"

"Yes, the Enterprise has been more of a home then I've had for a very long time, it's also a place that I know Jack would want me to be, as long as I was happy here."

"Your connection with the Enterprise wasn't my only concern. I was worried, that even though I still loved you that I would change and then my feelings for you would change, or yours would change. I never wanted to look at you and not love you. " Tenaya paused obviously a little overcome by emotion. "There has been a changes, when I read Persuasion I envision Anne as redhead, when I play Beethoven, it's like I feel the music washing over you."

"So much for not trying to influence by decision." Beverly replied fighting an urge to take Tenaya into her arms.

"I've decided to abandon that plan, since it hasn't gotten me what I want."

Beverly felt her checks warm; she glanced out the window, just happened to be the window showing the Blackwell's in dry dock. "She's an impressive looking ship."

"Yes, took me awhile to get use to the round ball instead of the saucer shape. You know Krylack, will probably be an admiral in a year, which means you could find yourself in the Captain's seat, and it's a very comfortable chair."

"Is it?"

"I could arrange a tour for tomorrow."

"I would like that." Beverly replied smiling.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

It was a pleasant informative tour that led to a dinner invitation in Tenaya's cabin, since the Enterprise wasn't due to leave until late the following day Beverly accepted.

"So what are the other hosts like?" Beverly asked as they finished their coffee.

"Well the second host was a botanist named Jillhar Howdell, he helped cultivate a stain of cactus that was used to treat Rhilan flu."

"The Jillhar-Botray cactus?" Bevelry inquired.

"One and the same." Tenaya said as she stood up. "Would you like some wine?"

"Yes," Beverly stood up as well and headed to the couch as Tenaya ordered up some wine from the replicator. "Your symbiont has had some remarkable host."

"I know." Tenaya replied uneasily, then handed her a glass of wine.

"You're not intimidated are you?" Beverly asked then took a small sip.

"I was in the beginning, and when the science commission pulled the plug on the Dacrunay symbiont well that didn't help." Tenaya replied trying to stay focused on the conversion and not Beverly's long legs, which her short green dressed nicely revealed. "The commission is fine with the emergency symbiont, as long as the host agrees, but they don't think society is ready for a fully artificial symbiont."

"Sometimes it can take time for society to catch up with science." Beverly took another sip of her wine and sat it down, "Oh and why did you call it Dacrunay?"

"I thought it was a wonderful combination of all three of our names." Tenaya said as she joined Beverly on the couch.

"My name didn't need included, you and Data did most of the work."

"Your work with cybernetics was very helpful, I should have consulted with you on the project to start with."

"And why didn't you?" Beverly asked with a teasing smile.

"I wasn't sure you liked me."

Beverly blushed slightly. "That changed on the arboretum didn't it?"

"Yes, when you didn't have me reassigned after ogling your legs I thought I was safe."

"Speaking of legs what were you and Data talking about?"

"Oh that, um well there's a resort on Risa, and the waitress have some attractive outfits."

"Attractive or revealing?"

"I just always thought you'd look good in one."

"Apparently the thought was clear in your brain, when you were linked to Data."

"It spends a lot time in my brain, except when the real thing is in front of me, and driving me crazy." Tenaya then leaned down and place a kiss on top of Beverly's right leg just above the knee, she felt Beverly shudder slightly when her lips brushed across her skin.

"You're bolder then I remember." Beverly replied in a raspy voice, she uncrossed her legs and shifted slightly so she was facing Tenaya.

"Do you object to the change?"

Beverly stared at her for a moment knowing that question concerned her more then that one flirtation kiss, when she had read Tenaya's letters she had hunted for indications of change, and they had been there, but they had only enhanced what she felt, just as the past day had added to what she felt for Tenaya. "No, I don't."

"Beverly, I want to be part of your life. If we are here together that would be wonderful, if your aboard the Enterprise I guess that's where my leave time will be spent, because I still love you."

Leaning in Beverly placed a gentle kiss on the younger woman's lips and then whispered. "And I love you."

Green eyes locked onto blue eyes, both filled with utter joy, then Tenaya pulled her into a passionate embrace and kissed her deeply.

Needing air they parted, Beverly stood up and offered Tenaya her hand. "There is one area of the ship you didn't show me."

"And what area is that?" Tenaya teased

"I believe it's through here." Beverly guided Tenaya to her own bedroom.

Once there Tenaya placed a kiss on the back of Beverly's neck and unzipped her dress. " I think you'll find the beds more comfortable than the beds on the Hopkins."

Beverly stepped out of her dress, removed her shoes and wearing only a black bra and panties laid down on the bed.

"Well are you comfortable?" Tenaya asked removing her blouse and pants before lying down beside Beverly.

"Yes, but I'm sure the first officers quarters will be even nicer."

Tenaya raised up and placed an eager hand on Beverly's waist and was about to kiss her, when Beverly spoke "I am still going to Betazed for the wedding ceremony, which will be in the nude, maybe you should try to can get away."

"Wish I could, of course people would just stare at my spots."

Beverly reached around Tenaya's back undid and removed her bra, "I think they'd stare at more than that." Beverly placed a hand on each of Tenaya's breast kissed one then the other and then pressed her lips against Tenaya's, who early accepted them.


End file.
